I have been struggling a lot lately with lust. Why? I have absolutely no good reason, but for some reason, it has been extremely hard to keep my thoughts pure lately. Sure, I haven’t intentionally looked at anything provocative since the end of last semester. I took a powerful fighting stance against Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition and, as one of my professors would call it, “the big M”. So far, so good. It seems like those temptations have left me alone for the most part since. It became more or less a non issue, but over the past couple of days, for whatever reason, my thoughts are tripping me up. I would say it was because I have time to think, but I know that is not the case because I don’t think about that kind of stuff when I have time to think. I think about worthwhile things. But stuff keeps popping into my head, and I have to willfully and consciously force it out and replace it. Seriously, what is it with me and chests? That is perverted. But it is weird. My body feels like it is lacking some vital nutrient that it can only get by thinking impure thoughts. Why? I don’t want this. I feel like I am being attacked from the inside. I have been fighting this for the past couple of days, and I feel like I am starting to wear down. It is now that I really need to be strong and stand. God, protect my mind. I can do this, I know. The biggest thing is that I can be aware of what is happening and of the attacks of Satan. Anne and I were just talking, and she gave me some good advice. If Satan is a lion, I can defend against him as long as I can see him. I have always pictured myself as this knight dressed in black, steel armour with a shield and several weapons. I have a sheath knife, a sword, and a javelin. I am strong, comfortable, trained, and prepared for battle. I know that nothing can stand against me as long as I fight on God’s side. I feel comfortable fighting, like I can’t get hurt as long as I am alert. My biggest weakness lies in getting tired. So, right now, Mr. E, this soldier of God is gonna take a scriptural multivitamin and get some rest so that he can fight again tomorrow. Gonna whoop this thing.
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
1 Peter 5:8 (NKJV)