So, I just figured something out. This semester is not going to be as easy as I thought. I really got caught off guard last night. Any time a person lets down their defenses, they will be attacked by him. Satan knows where my greatest weakness and my greatest vulnerability is. It’s in losing people close to me. When Anne said last night that she didn’t feel like she belonged any more, I saw my most feared monster rising up in front of me. Had I been ready, I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I feel like I failed You, God, and pitted my own lack of faith against my own wants and desires. I am so weak when compared to You. I trust You, I really do, and I’m so sorry for getting caught up in the moment of the situation and losing it like I did. You have called me to be a stable tree with deep roots so others can take refuge. I see how far from that I still am, but I thank you for bringing me as far as You have. Thank You for the slap in the face to let me know that I need to keep striving to grow. It hurt a lot, but I really needed it. I know Satan wants to see me fall and to say, “I told you so.” Thank You for defending me and for only letting me fall so far before You catch me. I love You, and I don’t want any of the gifts or blessings You’ve given me to distract me from my first Love. Please help me be strong and to fight for what is right. Please help me to be for Anne what she needs. Please help me to love her the way she needs to be loved. Please help me to keep my head on straight and grow strong and true like You intended me to be. I don’t want my self to get in the way. Because You are what it’s about. Help me to remember that.
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