Squids and Christmas

I haven’t worn all black in a long time. Honestly, some days I miss it. 3 years ago, it didn’t mean anything much. It was just my favorite color. Weird how things change. That’s funny how Millie hates black and camo and I love them. I love all her colors, too though, and I gotta say that I absolutely love my tye die pillow case.

My health kick I went on for 2/3rds of last semester was super amazing. I missed the foods that gave my body a rush but didn’t miss feeling bad later. It made me feel amazing. Next semester, I am going to do that again. My additional goal is to try to have at least semi regular sleep hours.

I was thinking today about something gross I did when I was a kid. I pooped in the bathtub when I was a baby and ate it. My mom heard me crying and came in to see what was up. Then she brushed my teeth.
Hmm. A lot of stuff from when I was a kid makes me think I was maybe under-attended to. I fell out of my high chair like a kazillion times because my mom would forget I was in there or whatever and I would try to climb down eventually. Having a baby in the bathtub by themselves doesn’t sound too smart either. Sure, poop is dangerous, but I would be worried about my kid drowning.

I super miss Grandpa. I talked to him on the phone this evening after the sun went down. He went driving around the county with the Game Warden and got to see and do a lot of neat stuff. I can hardly wait to go back home after I get back from Canada. This summer still has over 2 months left on it and already it is starting to seem short. They say that life is like a roll of toilet paper and the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. Maybe I’m not close enough to the end, because it seems like my life goes the same speed all the time. I guess when I was a little kid, I used to look forward to Christmas a lot more than I do now. Now I am more happy for the break and the chance to get to spend time with family. When I was a little kid, I was all about the food and the presents. I always got things like socks and oranges in my stocking. I was always excited about the oranges, because we didn’t always get fruit very often. One year for Christmas, my dad gave me a used bicycle that was in semi-decent condition. He got it at a yard sale for like 5 bucks, but I thought it was the best thing in the world. Us kids weren’t allowed to come upstairs until the sun was up on Christmas morning and we could open 1 present and play with it till my parents got up. If we had more than one present, then we would open the others with the rest of the family. I walked up the stairs and saw the bike with a piece of paper taped to it that said “Ben”. My 7 year old jaw dropped as my eyes got wide and I slapped my cheek in surprise. It was such a cool feeling. So much so that I walked down the stairs and walked up it again like 10 times and repeated the jaw dropping/face slapping. Then I took it outside and rode it barefoot in the snow wearing just my pajamas. The bike was rather small, but I rode it until I was 15. The neighbor lady borrowed it when I was 10 and broke the frame in half. I thought she was fat. My dad welded it back together and I kept riding it.

And now for an alphabet thingy that I prolly didn’t invent. The first thing that comes to my mind that starts with that letter and the immediate thoughts associated with it.

Animals – on the computer game that my sister is playing and how the elephants sound like they have harmonicas for voices

Beta – The end and also the fish. The end of the fish

Cattox – Botox for cats? Maybe having buttocks like a cat? Maybe cat allergies like cat toxin or something.

Dumb – A cold flabby brain inside someone’s head. It needs to get out more.

Evanescence – That music doesn’t appeal to me like it used to but I still like it because Amy lee’s voice is amazing and it has amazing music

Forgetfulness – Did I forget anything today? I sometimes forget to bring my lunch to school. Lameness

Groin shot – I try so hard not to laugh and usually succeed, but it is one of the funniest things even when I am the unfortunate one.

Hot Stuff – A kind of pizza. A girl once said that I was hot stuff when I was 15 and I thought she was making fun of my acne.

Inebriated – haha, a fancy word for being drunk. I wish I had a fancy word for “bathrooming.”

Just in case – I’m a boy scout and I’m prepared.

Kidding – messing with somebody or goats poppin’ out the young’uns

Losing – I used to always misspell that word. It is either untightening or not winning

Maize – is it corn or squash or a professor? Maybe it is a squashy professor who likes to make corny jokes.

Nope – Yup, being the affirmative. Did you not clean your room? Nope. Nope you didn’t or nope you did? I didn’t not clean my room.

Open – the same letters as nope but rearranged. Open to ideas. Like jumping off a cliff.

Pee – Haha, Seth is a moron whose mom dropped on his head and he likes to eat Pee! Sick.

Quite – And you have to say it fancy like an English person eating one of those funky pastries you eat with tea. (a powerful diuretic)

Right – turn right here. NO! turn left right here!

Sometimes – I like anchovies on my pizza, but really I don’t. In japan, you can order squid on your pizza instead of pepperoni. Those guys don’t live long because they are healthy, they were born tough enough to eat squid on pizza without dying and so of course they live a long time.

Team – Basketball. Which I hated so much when I was a kid.

Up – I always dream about flying. I did again the other night. Someday I will.

Venus – Bright green, visible from the night sky, where cats are from, I mean, where women are from.

Water – Cool clear water, but crawling through the desert, I saw the mirage and thought it was rootbeer.

Xylophone – I love tickling people’s ribs.

Zenith – Wasn’t that like some Greek god or something?

And on that note, I shall call it a day and a half. I’m really glad God made humans smart–ish because I really like being able to think about more than just the cud I would be chewing if I were a cow.

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