I spent the night at the house last night. It was lovely, as usual, but not as much as when you are there. I went for a walk in the dark and prayed and it was really peaceful. This morning, I woke up when it was light out which was a couple of minutes before my alarm, so I laid there and listened to the rain on the tin roof. I helped Martin load the cattle, and the horses were even bigger pains in the butt than usual. They better be happy they are in the USA where it is illegal to eat horse meat, cause otherwise they’d be walking on thin ice. The limping battery in my car finally gave out, so I had to push it to start it. Thank God for manual transmissions. I bought a new one and everything is just peachy now. I can’t believe that I haven’t had to fill up with gas yet. Kinda nice. At work, I was working on the laser welder. There was a problem with the cooling system so I filled it with water only to find out that it leaks like crazy. And the pump is bad, so I guess I will be fixing that tomorrow. Complicated technology. Annoying, but Dr. Adonyi told everybody in the class the department was lucky to have people like me and Martin because almost everything in the lab works. He’s pretty pleased, and I’m glad for that. I feel like I am really starting to fall into this job and know what I am doing. It’s nice. Martin said today that he hoped we were still living on his place in 20 years. He likes how much I help out around the place. Rent is paid off till 2012. Cool. I found a new Mexican place I want to take you next time you are in the mood for Mexican food. Tonight I am staying at the house again. I love it there. But I miss you being with me. I can hardly wait till we are through this enough to pursue His will together again.
God, right now, I feel pure and clean and whole but not full. I miss Millie. I’m sorry for being selfish. I’m sorry for not taking care of myself. I’m sorry for the warped perspective. I’m sorry for being distracted by things that don’t matter. Thank You for setting me straight. Thank You for being that pure source where I can dive into to be cleansed and refreshed. I know You want me. Forgive me for paying more attention to what I think I want than to what You want. I am Yours. I don’t want to be anything else. Thank You for always taking me back. I love You.